I'm glad/lucky to have such a good job, etc., so don't bother educating me on that score. I feel like I am falling victim to the Peter Principle, in which people are promoted until they hit their level of incompetence. I am especially troubled by this because, with a young family depending on me, I am in no position to walk away, even in good economic times.
I started out in the ranks of my chosen profession, and I was very good at it. I've now worked up to being a manager, and I am not a natural at it, let's say. Management is very much an acquired skill for me, and after almost ten years I still feel like I've got one foot hobbled to my thigh.
This is all my own fault. I have not done the detailed scutwork necessary to excel in my present responsibilities. My staff doesn't respect me and my supervisors are profoundly displeased with me. I figure I've got a year to retrieve the situation, though it's possible I'm already circling the drain. The stress of this predicament has aggravated a latent bipolar condition--a hereditary condition on my mother's side--for which I've had to finally go on anti-depressants, just to take the edge of off daily life. My wife doesn't quite understand, but she's been great by trying to be supportive.
I've had a week off this Christmas, and it's been relaxing. I just hope I can function competently when I go back. More on this later.
