Scene: Toweling him off after his bath.
Son [waving a small POW-MIA flag we got at the Fourth of July parade last year]: Papa, who is this?
Me: That's the soldier.
Son: Is the soldier nice?
M: Yes, the soldier is nice.
Son: Is the soldier a giant?
Me: No, there's no giants.
Son: When the soldier goes to heaven, will he have birthdays forever?
Me: ...err, open the cabinet and get a Q-tip!
Son: Papa, are there giants in heaven?
Me: No, no giants in heaven.
Son: Only humans?
Son: But Papa! Is the soldier human?
Son: Is the policeman human?
Me: Yes! Everyone is human!
Son: No elephants in heaven?
Me: Prooobably not...
Son: Papa! Uncle Larry's face is the same as Grandpa's face!
Son: I want to ride my bike.
Me: Nope, you just had your bath; time for your beddy-bye story.
Son: I want to ride my bike!
Me: Do you like your new bike?
Son: (nods, trying not to cry) Papa, why did I make a I Love You card for Mommy today?
Me: Because you're a kind boy.
Me: Because...here, let's get your clothes on.
Son: But Papa! I don't want to die!
Me: !!!... You won't die.
Son: But when I get old I have to!
Me: Well, let's not think about that.
Son: Papa, are you and Mommy too old, or just medium old?
Me: Medium old...
And much, much more, in the same vein.