Free Association Conversations

I often have the most wonderfully prolix conversations with my small son, but I can never remember enough of the flippin' things to write them down, come blogging time. But, let me give it a whirl this time:

Scene: Toweling him off after his bath.

Son [waving a small POW-MIA flag we got at the Fourth of July parade last year]: Papa, who is this?

Me: That's the soldier.

Son: Is the soldier nice?

M: Yes, the soldier is nice.

Son: Is the soldier a giant?

Me: No, there's no giants.

Son: When the soldier goes to heaven, will he have birthdays forever?

Me: ...err, open the cabinet and get a Q-tip!

Son: Papa, are there giants in heaven?

Me: No, no giants in heaven.

Son: Only humans?

Me: Yes.

Son: But Papa! Is the soldier human?

Me: Yes!

Son: Is the policeman human?

Me: Yes! Everyone is human!

Son: No elephants in heaven?

Me: Prooobably not...

Son: Papa! Uncle Larry's face is the same as Grandpa's face!

Me: Mmhmm!

Son: I want to ride my bike.

Me: Nope, you just had your bath; time for your beddy-bye story.

Son: I want to ride my bike!

Me: Do you like your new bike?

Son: (nods, trying not to cry) Papa, why did I make a I Love You card for Mommy today?

Me: Because you're a kind boy.

Son: Why?

Me: Because...here, let's get your clothes on.

Son: But Papa! I don't want to die!

Me: !!!... You won't die.

Son: But when I get old I have to!

Me: Well, let's not think about that.

Son: Papa, are you and Mommy too old, or just medium old?

Me: Medium old...

And much, much more, in the same vein.